Impressions of Egypt.

Here's a story I dug up from a few years ago

Impressions of Egypt....

It’s hard to know where to start after you have had an action packed couple of weeks in the third world. Yeah, Egypt is considered a third world country. This is something I didn’t realise either. That is until I was driving from Cairo airport, to our hotel, in a smoky taxi van that had little resemblance of a muffler, through a place that looked like it should have been an army training ground. It was semi-desert, 2am in the morning, check points all over the place, spare tyres, 44 gallon drums and a Lipton Tea advertisement. Welcome to Egypt. More like welcome to the Gaza Strip.

As Naomi & I are famous for not preparing in advance for a trip, (we had decided two days before hand to buy our tickets), we didn’t have anywhere to stay and we weren’t yet confirmed on the 9 day tour we had planned to go on and we were arriving in Cairo at 2am. Oh well lets see what happens.

I was on the plane anxiously searching through Lonely Planet (LP) to find us somewhere that sounded good. Well the place I picked sounded good in LP. This is what LP had to say about it, “for a different slant on Cairo try staying in Zamalek, which is a more relaxing and greener place than the city centre”. And of the hotel they said “the Mayfair is quiet and tranquil with a pleasant shady breakfast terrace and just a minute away from the buzzing shopping street”.

The only time LP let us down is at 3am in downtown Cairo. Thanks LP. It was just our luck to pick a place that was up 30 windy steps in what felt like a less than graceful part of town. “Relaxing,” I think not. Our room was even worse. The street looked inviting at this stage. I didn’t get much sleep that night for fear of some furry little friends making themselves comfortable in my ear or somewhere else warm. So as you can imagine it was out of there as soon as the sun rose to a higher class establishment for a couple of nights.

We didn’t do much the following day due to the fact that we were going to get to see some of Cairo on our tour, when we were confirmed, if we were confirmed, plus we couldn’t cross the damn road. We must have looked like the biggest tourists of all time. The road into downtown was so busy that we weren’t game enough to take the plunge. It was like that computer game Frogger, on level 5 except instead of crocodiles they had donkeys and packed buses with people hanging off the roof and out of the doors. And no traffic lights. Like they would help anyway. People in Egypt don’t take much notice of traffic lights. So we just did a big loop and got to see the Nile and Cairo Tower, the Opera House and the Nile again and the so called beautiful Island of Zamalek. By the end of the day we were like, “let’s get out of here.” Major culture shock. How much fun can it be if you can’t even cross the street? We were soon to learn that you can pretty much just walk out onto the road and people will either stop or go around you. They don’t give a shit. Anyway, everyone was so fascinated with my chair that they would have gladly stopped just so that they could get a better look.

We had heard about a resort town called Hurghada from a friend of mine and we still had a few days to kill before the tour started, so we decided to jump on a bus and head 6hrs south to the Red Sea coast for some sun and relaxation. Yes we organised some accommodation before we left and on the way to the hotel (from the bus station) we got a taste of Egyptian driving at its best. At night time they drive with their lights off and only put them on when they see another car. Why? To save power on the battery, stupid. They also honk their horn every 5 seconds. Why? To let other people know that they are there, of course. Sound like fun. Yeah it was.

My impressions of Hurghada and its surrounding area is that of a building site. Here we were in supposedly an exquisite part of Egypt and all you see is half built hotels and houses. If people run out of money they just stop building until you have enough money to carry on, plus if their children marry they just build on another floor for them to live. Hence next to and opposite our hotel were unfinished buildings that are just abandoned. Paradise eh.

We soon found out that we aren’t sitting on the beach, relaxing type of people. It’s damn boring if you ask me. So we were off exploring the town. This didn’t take long as it’s not very big. It’s all geared towards tourists, mostly tourists from Eastern Europe and in particular Russia. Egyptian men love the Russian ladies. But the Eastern Europeans & Russians were very rude. The Egyptians, in Hurghada liked us because we would talk to them and actually acknowledge them. The Russians would just totally ignore them and didn’t show much respect for the Egyptian culture. Egypt is a Muslim country so walking around the town with your shirt off and your fat Russian guts hanging out can be offensive, let alone a hot pink mini dress that barley covers the layers of fat you need to survive the Russian winter. Bartering and haggling is also part of the culture.  Most Egyptian’s appear to be very friendly, and indeed maybe, but behind this façade is the notion of getting you into his shop, or his fathers shop or his Uncle’s shop, where they sell all sorts of cheap, run-of-the-mill trinkets. The Russians clearly couldn’t handle all this attention and instead of smiling and politely saying, “thanks but no thanks,” they would more or less tell them to piss off.

We satisfied our boredom by doing a 4wd desert safari to a Bedouin camp 27km into the desert (with a group of Russians). The trip out there was hair raising as the driver and his mates were hoons (crazy fullas). They were driving on the wrong side of the road, trying to hit each other (as there was two 4wd’s) and they had a camera man who was hanging out of the window and straddling between the two cars. Crazy man, but funny. I liked it as it was exciting but the Russians started complaining and told the driver to slow down. I suppose if you wear very short denim shorts with black socks, brown leather shoes with buckles on them, 70’s shirt with the buttons half done up with gold necklace and medallion hanging down and a bowlers hat you don’t really like much excitement.

The Bedouin camp was very interesting but sad at the same time. The Bedouin’s are nomads that search the desert for water and food. They are extremely resourceful and have survived for centuries in the desert. It’s their home. I felt a bit rude, as they were going about their daily chores while contending with 1000 tourists every day. It is helpful that the tourists come though as it means they can get medical help as well as they can get a ride into town if they need some supplies or anything. But it is sad in a way because the children are being exposed to everything unBedouin and I think that is detrimental to there existence. Sometimes I hate being a tourist. We had a great meal (BBQ) and a bit of a dance and then the 20 4wd’s packed up and in a matter of minutes were gone until tomorrow when they will bring back another 1000 tourists to gawk at the Bedouins like they are animals in a zoo.

We finally got the news that we were accepted onto the 9 day tour. There were a few questions to be answered (like how I was going to handle loads of steps) but above all I was thoroughly impressed by Gecko’s attitude towards me. Even after they had just had a bad experience with another dude in a chair. Anyway after we reassured the boss of Gecko’s that Naomi would do all of the lifting and moving he was sweet about it. I understood his concern and was grateful for his flexible attitude.

So after being ripped off again on the bus back to Cairo we were meeting our new friends at the designated hotel (with 18 steps to the front door). I will highlight our destinations later on but for now here are some impressions of Egypt so that you can get a feel for the place.

Like I said earlier, Egypt is a 3^rd world country so it was a shock to see all the rubbish around the place. They do have street cleaners who seem to have an endless job. They stroll along the hot, dusty, busy streets with their straw brooms and buckets picking up used cigarettes, and there are plenty of those in Egypt as everyone, I mean everyone smokes. I was even told that people go around picking them up because they get money for recycling them. I’m surprised the street cleaners are not deaf with all the horns doing double time or dead from the poisonous car fumes. They can often be found sweeping motorway overpass bridges. Who knows why when the Nile is stinking and disease ridden. Why don’t they focus their energies on cleaning that up instead of the stupid road side? All in all it was filthy yet captivating.

Egypt suffers from blind eye syndrome. I have also seen this in Thailand. It’s where you have extremely rich people mixing with the poorest of the poor. The majority of people struggle by selling stuff at markets or beg, while the rest are rich somehow. The blind eye syndrome is also where you have people wearing designer labels, fancy mobile phones and gold jewellery, but drive a shitty car and live in a scummy apartment. They can turn a blind eye to there living conditions if it means they can have cool stuff.

With a population of 66 million Egypt crams itself along the banks of the Nile River. 90% of people in Egypt live along the Nile, which takes up only 10% of the entire country! It was marvellous to travel down the Nile. You can see where the desert starts. You can literally see the line where the waters of the Nile do not reach and from that point on it is pure desert. No life, no nothing, just desert. There is a strip of land either side of the River (approx 1km each side) where the land is as fertile as you’ll see and then bang, its desert.

As you can imagine, the economy relies on the Nile and farming is the top money earner for the country. The Nile is the heart of Egypt’s existence. Why the hell don’t they look after it? I’ll tell you why; poverty. People in poverty don’t give a rat’s arse about the environment. They are too busy trying to survive. Egyptian farmers work themselves to the bone, they live in mud shacks, use a donkey or camel as a tractor/family car/trailer and as long as they are getting the bills paid they will do anything. Even if it means wrecking a beautiful river.

The first thing you learn before you even get to Egypt is the concept of Baksheesh. It’s a tipping custom. You need something done you slip a few $$. You want directions, you slip a few $$. Someone does you a good turn, you slip a few $$. Somebody doesn’t help you but thinks they did, they still want you to slip them a few $$. You get sick to death of it but its how things are done. It is a shame in a way because you find it hard to trust anyone. Everyone is so friendly and helpful, just like a mate, but most of the time they’re only friendly to get a few $$ of you. It would be a great place to go if you had no mates as you could just pay someone to hang out with you. For me, you can have it. They were nice people but I didn’t make friends with any Egyptians (apart from our tour leader) because I got stung too many times. Like this one time when we were (no not at band camp, silly people) walking down the street and this guy came up to us, all friendly like, and invited us into his shop, “just for a look”, he said, “no pressure”, he said. I didn’t see any harm in it, we could make a friend out of it, I thought. The moment he closed the door behind us and stood in front of it was the time I knew this guy wasn’t going to let us out of the shop until we bought something. Some friend. We survived the ordeal but made us very weary of anyone being too friendly. Sad eh.

Most of the stuff in the shops are poor quality, run of the mill, crap that is often overpriced and looks cheap. Why do they all sell the same stuff? Do Egyptians buy this stuff or is just for sucker tourists? We didn’t buy anything because it all looked fake, mass produced and more often than not the story behind the trinket or picture was Bullshit. “Oh yeah, this painting was done by one of the best artists in Egypt, on pure papyrus, it will last forever”. Sadly it is hard to tell fake from the real thing.  We were taken to an authentic papyrus factory where they showed us the real McCoy. The paintings were impressive but nothing caught my eye. (and not much escapes that eye either). I wanted something truly Egyptian but alas I went home empty handed.

So with all that in mind you have a picture of what Egypt is like. Don’t get me wrong, as mad as it may sound, it’s a fantastic place but you’ve got to remember that if you are White/European/Pakeha/Honky it means you are a tourist, and if you are a tourist, you have $$. And if you’re in a wheelchair, make sure you bring someone that does not mind lifting you up and down loads of steps.

Steps were less of a problem than what we first anticipated. We made sure that we never asked for any help from our fellow members of the tour party but that didn’t stop them from being there at every step we came across. Even our guide was there. Sometimes I had to tell him to bugger off because he was in the way. He surprised me one time when we were in Luxor. We were about to go on a Felucca ride on the Nile, which I already had doubts to how I was going to get on and was about to say, “see ya guys, have fun, I’ll wait here for ya”. Well before I could voice my concern Waleed (our tour leader) hoisted me up (with the aid of Naomi & the Felucca owner) and carried me over 3 boats and plonked me on the Felucca, no wuckin forries. Like it or not, I was going for a boat ride on a Felucca.  He even organised for me to go by taxi instead of donkey to the Valley of the Kings. This was a stroke of genius as there was no way I could have ridden one of the damn things and I got to hang out with the taxi driver at one of the local outdoor cafes for an hour while the donkeys laboured there way up the hill. Everyone got off with sore asses and all I had to complain about was a full stomach. Its times like this that being in a chair pays off.

Waleed proved to be very valuable. I always felt that he saw me before my chair and he never assumed that I couldn’t do anything (thankfully apart from the donkeys) which lead to me participating in everything the others did. I never felt excluded or a pain in the arse and I never missed out on anything. All it took was a bit of thinking outside the square and enough trust in me to tell him what I was comfortable doing (which was anything). He even helped me get on a horse and cart, no questions asked. I trusted him and he made the whole trip very enjoyable. Cheers bro.

Transport and hotels are always the bain of wheelchair travel. Fortunately there were few transport difficulties. We did have to contend with being driven around in a coach for the 1^st day but then after it was easy as. We used a mini-bus to get to the train station, an overnight train to Aswan, Taxis (vans), horse and cart, boat and 4wd. No problems.

Surprisingly most of the hotels we stayed at had a lift to the rooms. But this could often mean that the lift doesn’t go to the dinning area or the main foyer or there were numerous steps to get to the lift. I got stuck in a lift in Aswan, with the owner, who after the ordeal was so apologetic he was kissing me on both cheeks and giving me big cuddles. Dude, get off me. I thought he was going to offer me one of his daughters in return for my forgiveness. No, really he was so proud that his hotel had a ramp out front (to steep for me to push up on my own) and a lift to accommodate me. He was gutted when firstly the lift didn’t work and secondly we got stuck in it. Oh well someone would have got yelled at but at least the lift will be working the next time I go.

One thing I do not recommend is doing 4 day river cruise. Well on 2^nd thought maybe I do recommend it. It was hard work but well worth it. We were upgraded to a 5 star cruiser and thanks to Waleed, Naomi and I stayed in a 1^st class suite at the front of the boat. Balcony, en-suite, lounge, double bed and all. Thanks Waleed and another example of how it pays to be a handicapman now and then. The suite was welcomed because the boat was 4 levels, no lift and the dining hall was on one floor, the bar on the other and both were 2 floors above our room. Needless to say Naomi had blisters by the end of that trip. The 4 day cruise really was, “a cruise”. We ambled our way down the quiet Nile and ate like pigs and relaxed. There wasn’t much else to do apart from enjoy the view, weather and food. We got another taste of how crucial the Nile is to the lives of not only Egyptians but everyone who shares its banks. We saw farms of all types, be it sugar cane, bananas or cotton. We saw kids playing, fishermen fishing and tourists gawking. Egypt has over 600 river boats who haul 1000’s of tourists up and down every day. It’s just what you do when you come to Egypt. We had a nice time but we were glad to get off and leave those stairs behind. I don’t know if there is an accessible cruise boat and good luck finding one.

The highlights of the trip for me were;

Day 2: The Egyptian Museum, where we learnt about the mysteries of ancient Egypt. We got to see Tutankhamen’s burial chamber, tomb and other artefacts. The history of Egypt can be overwhelming yet alluring. I can’t remember all the names or when they ruled or if they were good or bad or what, but I do know that from the time they were ordained they prepared their tombs for the afterlife. They wanted to be comfortable in the afterlife and went to extreme lengths to achieve it. Some pharaohs had less time than others due to them being murdered or early death but for most the tombs were elaborate displays of opulence and in-turn were repeatedly robbed of their fortunes.

The Sphinx and Pyramids were staggering. I couldn’t go inside the pyramids but from the outside they were miraculous. As much as you see them on telly its nothing compared to being there. How the f…. did they do it?  The stone blocks are as tall as an average person and as wide again. Solid rock, over 100m in height. How the f….? You’ve just gotta see it. (you’ll find me saying this a lot)

Day 3: Abu Simbel. Another how the f….? Here you have this monument placed here to say to invaders, “here’s me, I’m awesome, are you sure you want a piece of me, if you do, bring it on!” Its 4 massive figures of Ramses 11, carved into the side of a hill/mountain overlooking the waters of Lake Nasser. Over the centuries it was buried under tons of sand and lost until it was found (obviously). They then had to move the bloody thing back 60m due to the rising waters of the lake. 60m. How the f….? Bit by bit they moved it like a jig-saw-puzzle and if you weren’t told about it you would never know. WOW.

Days 3-6: We visited a number of temples along the Nile that when you are a tourist you just have to do. They were, how can I say, interesting but after a while one temple becomes another. Just another hard place to get to see some hieroglyphics, battle through crowds and get ripped off by fake tour guides that don’t speak good English but know how to say, “Tip”, or, “Baksheesh”, perfectly.

Day 7: it wasn’t until we got to Luxor that I finally started to appreciate the significance of temples and tombs. The Valley of the Kings was breath-taking. It is literally a valley with 1000’s of tombs. Many undiscovered. Most of the famous pharaohs were buried there in caves decorated with intricate paintings, still vibrant in colour and life even after 1000’s of years. I went into most caves and had no problems getting around the place. Sweet as. Shame about the crowds though.

On the other side of the Valley of the Kings is the temple of Queen Hatshepsut who ruled Egypt for 20 years in times of peace and growth. The temple is eye-catching as it dominates the desert landscape. I didn’t think I could get up to it at first as from a distance it appeared that there were hundreds of steps to get up. But upon further investigation and free entry we discovered that it was actually a ramp with steps on either side. How convenient.  Bless Hatshepsut for thinking of me all those 1000’s of years ago.

While the rest of the group looked forward to their donkey ride home with disdain, I skipped back to the cab knowing that my ass would be very comfortable. We stopped at a real Egyptian café along the way. The driver got my chair out and I sat there watching the world go by. I don’t think I was noticed all that much as I sat there studying the goings on of the café. When I say café I mean a concrete building, no half a building, with a table for eating, a cooker for the falafels, no windows, no bell ringing as you enter through the door, no welcome mat, no friendly hello, no carpet, but I’ll tell ya it was the busiest place in the street. Not much on the menu either. Falafels or falafels. Oh and shishka (Egyptian bong thingy). As I said I sat there nonchalantly and glimpsed how the hierarchy works in Egypt. Some people were served right away after pushing in, some had to wait ages, some were served quicker after they yelled at the cook, who did his job with absolutely no expression on his face at all, feeling no pressure. It appeared that if you were a girl, you waited. If you were a young kid, you waited. And if you were older and bigger you got what you needed with no please or bloody thank you. You could even abuse the cook. We may think they are rude bastards but that’s the way they do things. I wasn’t game enough to ask for any falafels.

That about it from me. I had a great time. Egypt is a magical place. My eyes were definitely opened a little wider but I have come to appreciate my home comforts. I can say that I never saw another person in a chair the whole time I was there and I wonder how they get on. If or how they survive. I made a true friend in Waleed, our tour leader, and without him life would have been very difficult. A thanks also goes to our tour group, bunch of bloody Aussies, much gratitude to you all. Gecko’s was the name of the tour company and if I ever do anything like this again I will be contacting them. This story has been a while coming but unexpectedly I remember the trip like it was yesterday. I did have apprehensions towards going to Egypt and the Middle East but after this experience I would recommend it to anyone.

Until next time.

Nunu nunu.

Curtis